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Have you ever run across something and thought, “That ought not be”?

Like the fact, there is poverty in one of the most prosperous countries in history or the fact that so many people in the world don’t have access to clean water, or when the government spends billions of dollars on frivolous pet projects. Whatever it is for you, you had a moment when you saw “it” and said to yourself, “that ought not be.”

For me, it was when I realized that one day someone, somewhere, decided masculine men were the enemy and the source of most of the world’s problems, and therefore masculinity needed to be eradicated. Or, to put it in one sentence, men are defective women, and if men would just become more like women, the world would be a better place. 

When this happened, the concept of toxic masculinity entered the lexicon. But it’s wrong. The men used to “prove” that toxic masculinity exists are in fact, not masculine at all. They are boys who can shave, pretending to be men, and are in fact, just assholes. 

The result is now there is a dangerously large number of men who either think they are the problem, so they do nothing to avoid making things worse. Or they are fed up with being judged for the actions of other males and decide to check out from society. 

When I say doing nothing, I mean they have stopped going to school, stopped working, stopped dating women, and stopped attempting difficult tasks. Instead, they descended into a world of fake war in video games and fake love in porn. 

But is it really a problem for men to watch porn and play video games? It is when porn gives a man an orgasm without intimacy, and video games give a man adrenaline without danger. In other words, men can get their natural instincts and needs met without any responsibilities or consequences. That’s bad because personal responsibility and acceptance of consequences are essential to masculinity. 

But this ought not be. 

The central premise behind the call for masculinity to be done away with is that men get all the breaks and are in control of the world. But this is not supported by an unbiased review of the data. What is true is that a small number of men are in positions of power and influence, and they do control many companies and governments. But the idea that all men, or even the majority of men, enjoy the same privileges is false. Here are the facts

• Men make up the majority of the prison population 
• Men are more likely to be a victim of violent crime
• More men die on the job
• If a man has sex with a woman and she becomes pregnant, he has no input into whether the baby is born or not. 

Again, there may be a few men orchestrating how things work and profiting from that control, but that is not the reality for 99% of men. 

One more “that ought not be” is not only is masculinity being attacked by the progressive side, it’s also been co-opted by the Bro culture. The Bro’s equate masculinity with how many women you sleep with, how much money you have, how physically fit you are, and how many F-bombs you can use in 60 seconds. The Bro’s are cartoon versions of what masculinity is supposed to be, and sadly way too many people fall for it. 

But no matter what side the attack comes from, the fact remains that masculinity is under attack, and that needs to stop. 

A lot of people and the culture at large say, “so what?”. Even if we have gone too far, isn’t it better to have men trying to shed their masculinity? The answer is no! In fact, there are no metrics that point to society being better when there are fewer masculine men. 

If you’re not convinced, take a look at the societal damage that has occurred when men check out and walk away. 

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes
• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
• 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
• 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. 

But one that really scares me is 7 million able-bodied men between the ages of 25 and 54 are not only not working, they aren’t even looking for work. And that’s bad. Because without a job, men get bored, and a bored man is a dangerous man. 

No matter how you look at it, doing away with masculine men does nothing but harm everyone.

What’s the answer? We must take back masculinity.

Take it back from those who want to destroy it and those who have co-opted it for their own benefit. 

I believe this must be done with an aggressive approach that doesn’t shrink back from having conversations with those who will want to shout us down or force us to cower in the corner by making rash and untruthful accusations. 

We must stop apologizing for being a man. For enjoying men-centric activities and past times. For enjoying being around other men. For communicating and dealing with emotions like a man.

The first step to taking back masculinity is to identify what it takes to be a good man and then pursue it with intensity.

I put it like this, Masculine Men are Providers, Protectors, and Professors.

• Provide for our families, friends, and people we don’t even know.
• Protect those who cannot protect themselves.
• Professors teach and men are wired to pass on what they have learned so others will have an easier path to walk in life. 

I want to help and encourage men to become the best version of themselves instead of obsessing over what other men are doing or can do, to stop playing the comparison game. The fact is every man’s capacity is different, so all men need to focus on measuring themselves by the standard of what is their best. 

On a personal level, I’m deciding to become a megaphone to champion the cause of taking back masculinity and teaching men what it means to be a masculine man. To write, speak, podcast, and go wherever I can to raise the alarm that if we don’t take back masculinity, the world is in serious trouble.

I’m looking for other men to join men in this cause. There will be more details later, but for now, I have one question for you, “Are you in?”