Before everyone had a GPS in their pocket, the old joke was a man would never ask for directions or admit he was lost. It was funny because there was a certain amount of the truth in it.
The bad news is there isn’t a GPS for life which means a lot of guys just float through day after day with no real plan to follow. They make decisions in the heat of the moment without thinking about the future consequences. It’s like they’re taking a road trip without a map. Instead of having a planned route, they just hop on the road and make turns whenever the mood strikes them.
What’s weird is they’re surprised when they don’t end up where they meant to go and some are even pissed off and look for somebody to blame.
That’s life for way too many guys and it’s not good, but there is a better way. So I want to show you a process for how to develop a plan to get you where you want to be in 2, 5, or 10 years. The time frame isn’t important, the important part is for you to have a plan you’re following.
But before we talk about planning, we need to establish some axioms about your life:
Playbook for Men Axioms for Life
#1: Your life is a checkbook and you write a check for it every day
#2: You must have a WRITTEN plan
#3: Everything in life costs something (time, money, etc.) and you can’t ignore that fact.
Those three axioms are going to frame the process of coming up with a plan.
I think the biggest takeaway is nothing in life is free. Everything you want costs something of value, money or your really valuable asset, time. So choose wisely.
Now I want to show you how to set goals based on where you want to go, not where you are. In other words, how to reverse engineer the life you’ve always wanted.
REVERSE ENGINEERING YOUR LIFE
Step #1:
Write out your priorities (no more than 7) and put them in order of importance. For instance:
- God
- Wife
- Kids
- Extended family
- Career
- Church
- Serving others
Step #2:
Pick a day for yourself and your family sometime in the future and picture that day. How far in the future? I would say a minimum of 2 years and a maximum of 10 years. But it’s your choice, just be reasonable. Nobody can set goals for 30 years from now. What does your life look like? Ask the following questions:
Housing
- Where do you live?
- What does your house look like?
- What vehicle(s) do you drive?
Health
- How much will you weigh?
- How much will you exercise weekly?
- What day will be your Sabbath?
- What do your vacations and holidays look like?
Financial
- Where do you work?
- How much money do you make?
- How is your money spent?
- How is your money saved?
- How is your money invested?
- How is your money tithed?
- What is your insurance package?
Marriage
- How often do you pray together?
- When is your date night?
Family
- How many children will you have?
- How old will your children be?
- How will they be educated at that time? Public, private, or home school
Extended Family
- What is your relationship like with each family member?
- Do you take vacations together?
- What about holidays/special days?
Friends
- Who are your closest friends?
- Which people have you dropped as friends?
- What things do you do with your friends?
Learning
- How many books have you read by that date?
- What other experiences have influenced your life (conferences, mentors)?
Ministry
- What church do you attend?
- How involved are you?
- How are you studying the Bible?
I’m not promising you’ll never have any problems if you follow this process but I am telling you the chances of you ending up someplace you never wanted to go are almost zero.
The best way to do this is when you have the time to really think through each question.
Now grab a notebook and reverse engineer the life you’ve always wanted.
PS
The late great Alabama football coach Bear Bryant kept a copy of this poem in his wallet to remind him about the value of a day.
“This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is very important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever…
leaving something in its place I have traded for it. I want it to be gain, not loss — good, not evil. Success, not failure in order that I shall not forget the price I paid for it.” -Hartsill Wilson
PPS
Thanks to Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill Church for the big idea behind this column.